Why Blur #2, WinstonStruyePhoto2012

Shit I hate it when I’m slack on things, I really, really do.  When I don’t get something done, when the pressure is on and I feel like I’m not making it, for whatever reason.  A good example of this is when my tumblr doesn’t get updated!  I put this self-pressure on myself to do so well that when I realize I’m not superman things start to crumble all too easily and I’m left with some disorganized pieces to scrunge back together.  But really, at the end of the day, it’s probably just me complaining, me again forgetting how lucky I am to be 21 and already haven given such great opportunities, me just trying to push myself maybe even further than I should.

Nah fuck that Ima keep putting the pressure on.

Skull with Roses, WinstonStruyePhoto2012

I’m currently (trying) to write an essay on a photograph that I “plan to take sometime in the future.”  What am I supposed to say to that?  I want to take a photograph me on a date with Natalie Portman? Someone surfing a tsunami? An eagle perched tree made of flames? Someone doing an ollie over a dragon? Someone doing an ollie over a black hole???  The opportunities are relentless as my head spins around thinking about color, action, design, and large explosions.  Maybe I’ll put it up here when I’m done.

Kids, WinstonStruyePhoto2007

I remember being a kid and everything was so big that I could look up at it and not worry if I ever reached it or not, just knowing it was up there was enough to keep me snorting up excitement to grow up.  Thinking what may be around the corner was more or less the same as picturing the tomorrow, and the yesterday was so far behind I forgot it even happened.

Motorcross Blur,  WinstonStruyePhoto2012

It’s crazy how fast things go by, and it’s even crazier how slow we are to realize this sometimes.  While walking down the street I thought “shit, today is nearly mid-may, nearly 3 years Ive been in Australia, and nearly done with uni, like, all of uni.”  I wish I could take of panning image of the days zooming by sometimes, I imagine it would be very blurred.

Purple Sunrise in France, WinstonStruyePhoto2011

Getting inspired is what pushes me I find.  Hearing about another’s great works, seeing what other people are doing, being reminded of what awesome looks like.  That’s why I keep doing it, what pulls me forward when I find myself stuck.  Looking at a new place, a different angle, a virgin perspective lets me use what I’ve previously gathered to create something new.  Keeps me fresh when I’m going stale.

Palms Trees and Skyline, WinstonStruyePhoto2012

I feel like there are a few thoughts that run an ever-circulating loop in head, whats defines cool and it’s time period to rest in a state of cool, would I rather know what happens in the future and then be more happy in the present or simply dance along in the present state of anxiousness, and if I’d rather be stuck on a desert island with just some sun and waves or whether I’m a culture crazed city boy who couldn’t live without some great reason to go experience other creatives.  At the present, being stuck in an apartment building, I’m going to say that I need to be stuck on some beach where lawyers, cheesy corporations, and general-city-hecticness are far away from.

Tough Mudder Climb 2012, WinstonStruyePhoto2012 To be honest, I don’t really have anything to write here. Kinda just one of those days where writing consists of just not knowing what to write. Being desperate to say something, but the only thing coming out is how desperate I am to think of something.

New Order 2012, WinstonStruye2012

Do you often wonder why our emotions are so often far from our knowledge?  When we know a person, an idea, a dream has been swallowed, used for all it’s resources, and shit out, and even though it’s now nothing more than shit from times long past, we still want it back?  Our brain’s that got us so far in evolution tell us just to not call them back, or give up the on idea, just to move on, but there is always that urge to see if we can bring it back from the dead that’s impossible to avoid.  Like seeing new band for the first time, even though they are 30 years old, delving into something that you know is rotting anyway.  We usually come out of it all stinky, but we keep going in expecting to taste the sweetness that has long been left behind.  Seeing one of the greatest bands from the late 80s/early 90sis a good way to get this feeling if you haven’t yet.

Saltwater and Sunsets, WinstonStruyePhoto2012

I’m pleasantly afraid of going back to motherland that is Los Angeles, California.  I like those words together, pleasantly afraid.  Think about it for a bit and picture someone who is timidly vocal, or smartly confused, while doing that.   Someone who sometimes thinks the sky would maybe look better if it was a different color, but can’t help but admire the white clouds on deep blue.  I just can’t make up my mind on why I so desperately to leave the City of Angels.  Whether I did the right thing to move into the center of city life or whether I’m just a beach bum trying to put on a suit and tie when I only fit in boardshorts.